“Please Don’t Poke The Dogs Bum With Your Jesus Stick”

Mr Eko from “LOST”


A couple months back, we started re-watching Lost.

We had seen the first few seasons while it was on the air but then stopped watching around the time of the “Oceanic 6” so decided to start from the beginning when we wanted to finish the series.

During Season 2, Mr Eko had a stick that a character on the show nicknamed “Jesus Stick” and around the time we were watching this, our son found a cardboard stick that came in the box with our stroller. He became quite attached to it and we ended up calling it his Jesus Stick.

And he likes to chase Lilo, our dog, with it. Hence the quote “Please don’t poke the dogs bum with your Jesus stick…”

I’m sure every parent can relate. There’s always a moment you say something to your child and think to yourself “Wait, did I actually just have to say that?!”

Some other fun things I’ve had to tell my 16 month old son?

“Stop pinching your boobies!”

“Is that dirt on your face? Crap…. Literally.”

“Mommy has to wipe your junk. Deal with it.”

“Dean, can you please remove your hand from Mommy’s pants?” (Some kids like to stick their hands down Mom’s shirt… He prefers the back of the pants…)

“Mommy loves your kisses, but a little less tongue next time, okay?”

“If you do that again, you are going to lose your balls!” (He kept throwing them to a baby, who was only a few weeks old and not having fun with his shenanigans)

“Just wait. When I am 90 years old, and you have to change my diaper, pay back is going to suck, kid!” (After the millionth time of him peeing during a diaper change. Ugh.)

What have you found yourself saying to your kids that makes you go “Huh… I should probably rephrase that or hope that no one heard me!”


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