I’m Not A Closet Drinker…

I’m a bathroom drinker.

I’m not ashamed to admit it.

I spent nine months craving alcohol. Beer, wine and OMGBellinis. Tequilla. Even Vodka. And I don’t like vodka after that one terrible night at a park with a friend and much too much vodka (I was young and stupid, I know)

Have I mentioned that I got pregnant with both my kids after a night of drinking? Both boys were planned but totally coincided with a night of alcohol (there’s a joke in here about needing to drink in order to sleep with my husband, but… hi Mom!)

Tonight, after a busy day, I came home and pumped before getting Dean to bed. Then rather than jumping in a quick shower, as per my new routine (because why would I be willing to get up at 6:30am to shower before my husband leaves for work when I can sleep until the boys wake me up around 8:30am?!) I handed baby and the bottle to Jason and took off to the bathroom…. With phone and a half-glass of wine in hand. And that five minute rushed shower with twenty minutes of Facebook, internet and Candy Crush time was glorious.

I think I am going to find somewhere to stash a bit of chocolate in there for future “spa” moments.

Do you sneak off with your phone to shower or for bathroom breaks and steal a few minutes to yourself in order to restore some sanity?


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