Top Five Reasons I Bring My Young Children Out Of The House

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Saying hello to his snail friend

1. To help you slow down and enjoy the little things in life
I bring my littles out so that you have to slow down during your power walk, in order to go around them, without tripping over the strategically placed speed bumps, as they watch a worm wiggle his way out of the ground.

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Taking over IKEA!

2. To allow you to appreciate silence
What? You don’t find the train bridge exciting enough to have a freak-out-fit, including jumping, screaming and lots of laughs?
After a ten minute skytrain ride with my children, you’ll enjoy any bit of silence in the near future. You’re welcome.

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Never a dull (or quiet) moment with these two!

3. To give you downtime
It’s pretty hard to try having that business conversation on the bus when my oldest child is begging to play I Spy the. entire. fifteen. minute. ride. And my youngest? Begging to come out of the stroller in the jam packed bus that is elbow to elbow full. Don’t bother trying to have your phone call. Just put your phone away. You will no longer have to yell overtop of the noise of the train and everyone on board in order to be heard by the person you were talking to.

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The see me rollin’, they hatin’. Patrolling they tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.

4. To give you an excuse to get your bitch-face on.
I’m sorry that I enjoy Starbucks. I’m sorry that my youngest hasn’t mastered the skill of eating on the go and that we need to sit down to enjoy our snack. But most of all, I am sorry that my boys sat and ate quietly and didn’t give you a valid reason for the glares you sent our way when we first walked in the doors.

And the final reason I bring my young kids out…

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Yuck! Keep your germs to yourself, sir!

5. To build up your immunity
Kids, even while not sick, carry nasty germs. Be careful that you don’t get too close. I’ll be sure to keep him from breathing near you…. After all, I don’t want him to catch your douchbaggery.

 

 

 

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